Financially Female

Weddings are one of the most sacred and important moments in our lives. It’s a reflection of Christ and His Church; a covenant, one that says “I will love you through it all”. But somewhere along the way, culture began whispering that a wedding’s worth is measured in how fancy, expensive, and perfect it turns out. Pinterest boards and instagram carousels grew into pressure, and before long, couples were walking into marriage not just hand in hand, but crippled with debt.

This is the voice of someone who overspent on their wedding out of a desire to impress others. My wedding was beautiful, lovely, and filled with so much joy. But we would have had the same outcome if we chose to spend less on pretty much everything.

As followers of Jesus, we’re called to build our lives, and our marriages, on wisdom. Scripture reminds us that “the borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). When we trade our peace for perfection and performance, we lose sight of what the day was meant to be: a celebration of a covenant.

My hope is that this is an encouragement for bride(s)-to-be. If you’ve already gone into debt, there’s no shame here in the choices you’ve made or choose to make. There is only grace and new wisdom for what comes next, and the decision is ultimately up to you, no questions asked. Jesus meets us with comfort, not condemnation, and He leads us gently toward peace. Choose wisely, ask for help, and plan with a heart towards Christ.

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Set a Budget That Honors God

Weddings are expensive. Let’s just say it. The expenses for this one day often take years, sometimes decades to pay off. Our culture teaches us that unaffordable wedding expenses are normal, acceptable, and a priority. But here’s the truth: no amount of debt is normal.

“The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.” Proverbs 22:7

Everyone’s financial circumstances are going to look different. What you can afford is going to vary from person to person. Before booking any vendor or making any decisions, pray and thank God for the marriage He is going to bless you with. Thank Him for the resources He has already given you in order to live a comfortable, joyful life. Ask Him for wisdom in the wedding planning process and for peace in every decision made. Then, decide what you can realistically afford. Decide what is most important to you and what you’re willing to cut down on. Debt might promise convenience, but the convenience is only temporary.

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Hire student photographers. Choose plastic plates (yes, I promise nobody cares). Buy secondhand/free items for decor. Do a cash bar or prioritize wine/beer as open. Use a budget planner or a wedding planner to track your budget/expenses.

See my Wedding Tips On A Budget (coming soon) for a list of resources on most (if not all) expenses that come with wedding planning and how you can keep costs down.

Redefine Dress Standards

Let me be completely honest: You don’t need a $5,000 dress to feel radiant. In a culture that celebrates extravagance, it’s easy to believe that the more we spend, the more beautiful we’ll feel. The bridal industry, through advertisement and social media, convinces brides every day that our husband will love us more if we are adorned in expensive lace labels. But scripture tells us a different story.

Practically, there are a thousand dresses out there that will fit into your budget and still make you feel beautiful. Whether it is buying secondhand, making your own dress, or just simply choosing a dress within your budget, one thing remains true. Your beauty isn’t stitched into silk. What makes you stunning is the Holy Spirit moving through you in grace, love, and peace. God has already called you radiant long before you ever put on a dress.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

When you choose to find beauty in humility, simplicity, and faith, you mirror the heart of Jesus. He was never drawn to our outward appearance but to hearts that reflected His grace. There is nothing wrong with a beautiful dress, and a dress can make you feel lovely for a moment, but a peaceful heart will carry that loveliness into your marriage. Maybe beauty, in God’s eyes, is less about the gown and more about the joy that shines from a bride who knows she’s already fully loved.

Choose Simplicity In The Big Things

Everything adds up fast when it comes to planning a wedding. A venue, photographer, and catering are some of the biggest expenses when it comes to a wedding. But a beautiful day doesn’t have to mean an extravagant one. In fact, simplicity isn’t about depriving yourself of beauty. It’s about making room for what truly matters.

“Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it.” Proverbs 15:16

More is not always better. A lavish venue might photograph beautifully, but if it leaves you anxious and indebted, the joy of that day can quickly fade before it even arrives. The peace that comes from staying within your means is a peace that lingers long after the last sparkler burns out. It’s an act of worship to say, “God, I trust that my joy doesn’t need to be manufactured; it’s already complete in You.”

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Choosing simplicity might mean hosting your ceremony in the church where your faith grew, or gathering in a backyard surrounded by people who love you. Maybe you need to choose an off-day or choose to get married out of season. It could mean serving coffee and cake instead of a five-course dinner. You may need to evaluate your guest list and have a more intimate wedding.

Find Peace In The Small Things

Sometimes, the big things can be easy to negotiate. It’s often the small items that add up fast and put us over our budget. Flowers, favors, table decor; we obsess over the details because we want them to feel “just right.” But peace and perfection are not found in small details like the folding of a napkin or the type of flower on a table. It is found in Christ alone.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40

Finding peace in the small financial decisions of wedding planning means learning to trust that wisdom and restraint can be just as beautiful as extravagance. It’s choosing contentment over comparison, peace over pressure, and stewardship over striving. When you pause before each purchase and ask, “Does this honor God and the life we’re building together?” you begin to see how every dollar can reflect deeper values; faith, gratitude, and simplicity.

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Finding peace in the small things might look like letting go of the perfect centerpiece, saying no to elegant and expensive table runners, or accepting help from those who love you. Let the little things be little. The peace you carry in your spirit will shine brighter than any candle, flower, or dress ever could.

Guard Your Heart from Comparison

There is nothing wrong with wanting to find some inspiration for your wedding day. But the more we scroll, the more we compare our wedding to those around us. Pinterest boards and Instagram feeds are filled with perfectly filtered, curated wedding photos. Influencers take moments, edit them to perfection, and present them as effortless; but it’s all carefully staged. Our hearts and minds were not meant to only see perfect moments.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Your wedding isn’t meant to compete with someone else’s. It was never designed to be measured by aesthetics, budgets, or viral trends. It’s a sacred reflection of your story, a day to glorify God through the love He has written between you and your spouse. Every detail, from the vows you speak to the table you gather around, is an opportunity to honor Him, not to impress others. When your heart stays anchored in that truth, comparison loses its grip, and joy begins to overflow.

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Set a limit on how much scrolling you do on social media. Try searching for simple weddings on a budget instead of scrolling through hours of inspiration. Unfollow influencers if it’s feeding discontentment.

Build Financial Unity, Not Perfection

Marriage already brings its share of new adjustments. Financial stress shouldn’t be one of them. It can quietly erode the joy and connection of a new marriage. What begins as small worries about bills or wedding debt can grow into years worth of tension, blame, or shame.

“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” Luke 14:28

Money reflects values, priorities, and trust. That’s why God calls us to live wisely and with open hearts. Not to burden us with rules, but to protect us and others. A marriage starting with financial peace allows space for love to flourish freely without anxiety or worry. It invites both partners to trust God as their ultimate provider and source of stability.

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Work together to build a budget that works for you. Save monthly for wedding costs and pay vendors in stages instead of all at once (if allowed). Decide and prioritize what is most important to each of you, and practice compromising.

Focus on the Marriage, Not the Party

This is a beautiful and overwhelmingly wonderful celebration of your unity under God. The wedding may last six hours but the marriage lasts a lifetime. This day is a breathtaking glimpse of God’s design for unity. It’s the moment you and your spouse stand before Him, vowing to build a life together rooted in faith and love.

But as beautiful as the celebration is, it’s only a single chapter in a much greater story. When the flowers fade and the lights dim, what remains is the covenant you’ve made before God. Overspending for the sake of appearances can leave you feeling momentarily admired, yet spiritually empty.

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Participate in a premarital devotional together. Focus your attention on details that align with your story and faith.

Final Thoughts

Your wedding, regardless of how many tiers you have on your cake or how extravagent your arch is, is going to be amazing. The unity between you and your husband is one that I can’t describe in words. So don’t let financial strain overtake your life. Peace costs less than perfection and it’s worth infinitely more.

Lord, thank You for being the center of every covenant and the provider of every need. As I plan, dream, and prepare for the wedding day, remind me that Your presence is the most beautiful part of it all. Guard my heart from comparison and fear. Teach me to make financial choices with peace, wisdom, and contentment. Help me to build not just a beautiful day, but a strong, Christ-centered marriage that honors You in every detail. May my spending reflect gratitude, my planning reflect purpose, and my heart rest in the truth that I already have everything I need in You. Amen.